Seeing the beauty

I don’t spend a lot of time in front of the mirror when I do look at myself it is usually with a very critical eye. This new wrinkle, that new gray hair, this bit of extra weight. I read an article about treating the image in the mirror like someone you love instead ofContinue reading “Seeing the beauty”

When doctors disagree

Sometimes it feels like you are just along for the ride when you are navigating the follow up after dealing with a critical illness. It isn’t like the runaway train or tornado of the illness, not at all. It is just like you are a passenger along for the ride, sometimes there is disagreement amongContinue reading “When doctors disagree”

Disagreeing with doctors

People disagree, it happens all the time. What about when it really matters? What about when it is about you and you aren’t a medical professional but you have a very strong opinion about what should happen and why? I didn’t want cancer. Didn’t want any part of it at all. My opinion and feelingsContinue reading “Disagreeing with doctors”

All these bills

One thing you can count on with a critical illness is a sudden influx of postal mail. You will get bills, statements and explanation of benefits. Some of the letters will be very very thick and when you go through them it will be eye opening. My oldest daughter was born with shoulder dystocia whenContinue reading “All these bills”

Waiting, waiting, waiting

I am not known for my patience, this is a virtue I do not possess. I have been known to hit send on an important email and call the recipient in that moment to see if they got it and what they thought about it. I have been known to send a package to someoneContinue reading “Waiting, waiting, waiting”

Blank Page Nerves

I have never liked to write. I have always preferred to be face to face when sharing information, not in writing. I was the kid in class given a 1000 word assignment and 950 words would be alright, the last 50 would be the word ‘very’ everywhere it could pass. Someone suggested years and yearsContinue reading “Blank Page Nerves”

Milestones

There are distinct periods in life, the change is often marked by a specific event, a milestone. My first six distinct periods are measured by which school I was in, the next 9 are about our kids and moves and jobs. We figured instead of measuring distinction in our lives based on our experiences, itContinue reading “Milestones”

Kindness matters

There are a lot of trips to the doctor to get to a cancer diagnosis, there are exponentially more after a cancer diagnosis. A lot seems like an understatement. My first trip to the Breast and GYN cancer center at Woman’s Hospital was by far the worst. I guess the reason for that is theContinue reading “Kindness matters”

Clearing your personal cache

Sometimes I get stuck with a thought. Really, really stuck. I never consider myself stuck if it is a good thought, only when they are not so good am I stuck. I really only know one way to get un-stuck, or get out of my own head, or really just to clear my cache, youContinue reading “Clearing your personal cache”

Waiting for last chemo

Chemotherapy is awful. Don’t get me wrong, I am cancer free today because of chemotherapy. I wouldn’t wish chemotherapy on anyone. I pray that chemotherapy becomes something less awful in my daughter’s lifetime and that they never ever need it because it is awful. Today I was reminded of the terrible time between the thirdContinue reading “Waiting for last chemo”