Pay attention to the question

Have you ever gone into a situation where there was no way , I mean no way at all, to avoid an uncomfortable question? Not only can you not ignore it, but it is making it way directly to you, unwavering in its path?

Covid has been a challenge for everyone. Everyone has their unique perspective, their unique issues and their unique circumstances. No one has walked away unscathed in some fashion, at least no one I speak with on a regular basis has.

I have started a new job that I love, the work is great and the people are better! We are moving. Moving during covid is something I would not recommend. Selling a house in one city to move into an AirBnB in another city is a challenge, more on the other city challenge later.

Selling a house requires disclosures, they are interesting, the things you would expect, has there ever been a flood, fire, tornado, lightning or other natural disaster that required major repair work. There are a few questions you might not expect, one question asked if the dwelling had ever been used as a meth lab while we were living there. Seriously, it is a question on the disclosure form.

The realtor finally asks the elephant question I’d been dreading– has anyone been sick in the house. I answered yes, sheepishly yes, I had breast cancer 2 years ago. Almost apologetically, like somehow I invited cancer, or signed up for it in some fashion, that it was somehow my choice and I chose cancer sorry to say. She laughed. Laughed. Out. Loud. and said, “no honey, has anyone had the covid?” Aaahh, a different elephant.

No one in the household had covid. I explained to her how we were careful, safe, we wiped down all common areas twice a day, in the morning and night, with boiling water and bleach. We haven’t run out of toilet paper or gotten close at all.

We managed schooling three daughters in three different grades, schools and electronic systems. We also managed to create a home network that could support five computers online during business hours with at least three google meets going at all times and four smart phones. I was working from home exclusively. We ran a virtual 5K as part of gym class and just to get out of the house complete with T-shirts.

We created an oasis in the backyard complete with gazebo outfitted with curtain fairy lights and a table with inlaid chess boards, as well as potted garden complete with a two room tent. The front yard was a socially distanced gathering spot, us on our driveway, with the neighbors on theirs having a glass of wine or something stronger while other neighbors walked around the lake periodically stopping to chat or the reverse when we needed to walk.

We made personalized masks. We sewed extra for the neighbors and had contactless distribution. My husband went shopping alone, with a mask and had contactless pick up. We had zoom and facebook get togethers and a birthday party. We survived a few knock down drag out fights (also contactless) with the girls over the continuously close proximity and a couple with each other. We made vision boards of how we would like to emerge from this crazy cocoon of a situation situation.

When I finally took a breath and stopped explaining how we managed to survive this time with little to no outside contact inside the house and minimal contact outside only from a distance, she looked at me calmly with her eyes just a little bit wider and said that maybe a meth lab would have been easier. This time I laughed out loud, maybe a little maniacally, but it was good to laugh all the elephants in the room away.

Published by survivorsherpa

I am a wife and mother to three daughters, a chemist and a breast cancer survivor. I would very much like to help others by caring and advocating for them while sharing my experiences and tips that may help to thrive during and after treatment.

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