Today we got a flat tire on the highway, caused a back up due to gawkers, my apologies to all who were impacted. My husband put the spare tire on while we on the side of the road in record time. Less than an hour later the car battery died. My husband had to walk across a busy retail shopping street, on Thanksgiving weekend, to get a replacement battery. A quick trip to two stores turned into a trip the Gilligan Islanders would be pitying us for. Everyone has days like this, well, this was just an afternoon, but still everyone has this happen.
This is part of the clean up after cancer. The car wasn’t exactly neglected during everything associated with cancer, but it wasn’t exactly the same kind of loved it was prior to cancer. It certainly didn’t receive the same amount of attention and something had to give–the tires were patched. When the battery died last year we got a jump from a nice gentleman in a Jeep also visiting the oncologist and moved on. We didn’t think about the tires or the battery again…until today.
Life goes on, the kids are a year older, and they lived a year, or more really, during the past year. At least once a week I will refer to something two years ago like the last year simply didn’t happen. It is weird, if you play video games, it is almost like a mini game within a bigger game. I keep expecting that life outside cancer was paused while we were in the cancer mini game. Or like putting down one good book halfway through and reading another scary novel completely and, when done, picking up the first book again right where you left it.
When I mention this to medical professionals, they say it is normal. They compare it to how your kids grow up but you expect other kids you haven’t seen in a while to be the same age as when you last saw them. A regular phenomenon. It’s just something that happens even if you try to stay on top of everything, you just can’t. Be kind to yourself.
When you get caught with a flat tire because you couldn’t deal with it real time in the cancer mini game, it is a shock. Like a big smack in the face showing you another thing you missed over the course of the year and there is still a lot of clean up to do.
While it is a smack in the face, it is a great reminder that you made it through. Even though it is a nuisance, sometimes an unplanned expensive nuisance, the alternative really stinks, be grateful that you are here to help with the clean up.