Motivation is an incredibly personal thing. What motivates one person is likely to demotivate another person. What may motivate one person in one situation may demotivate that same person in a different situation. For example the halfway point.
The halfway point is always a milestone for me. I enjoy the halfway point for chores or during physical activity. I am keenly aware of the halfway point and get a surge of energy to help complete whatever it is I am doing. I take stock looking at what has been completed so far and push on to get the rest done with pride.
There are other times when the halfway point is tougher. Sometimes the halfway point is just a reminder that I have as much left to do as I just did and it steals my energy. I get the rest done looking forward to the energy of a job well done.
Knowing I was halfway through chemo treatments was one of those moments that was a combination of the tough and surge feelings. I remember thinking to myself that I was halfway there–woohoo! While simultaneously thinking two infusions down, two more to go, I hope I make it.
This is where the fear about additional infusions started to creep in and the thought what if I am not halfway there? I almost made the nurse practitioner sign in blood that I was only going to get four treatments. She was very kind and very patient with me and assured me several times that the treatment plan was for four and no one has ever had more added just like that. I heard people have had more added, we just weren’t adding any more to mine at this time.
The thought of adding more infusions caused me to sweat those 19 days until the next infusion. Being completely honest, there were a few of the dog days where I thought even one last infusion was too much and wondered what it would take to get out of it.
At the time of the fourth infusion when the doctor confirmed that there would be no more at this time, I felt a little calmer. Marked the halfway point of the infusion, the side effect days and expected to start to feel like myself again in a few days.
It doesn’t happen like that. The halfway point is harder to find for when you feel like yourself again. I fear, some days, I haven’t reached it yet. I hope, some days, tomorrow is the first day of feeling like myself again.
My doctor and I talked about what I could do to help put the odds in my favor to avoid recurrence of cancer. She informed me about the statistics concerning how I was more likely to have a second run in with cancer than people were to be diagnosed with a first cancer. What??!! I was more likely to develop cancer again than someone who has never had cancer was to get a first diagnosis. I remember thinking very loudly what crap is that?? What can I do to prevent this??
Lose weight, move more, eat smarter, listen to my body.
Lose weight. We had a clear target with a clear halfway point with a crystal clear motivating reason. Can’t really get much better than that. I celebrated the halfway point, got energy, I even got a little greedy to get to the end point. I celebrated the crap out of the end point.
Move more, eat smarter and listen to my body. This will be for the rest of my life, hopefully I will not know when the halfway point is over all, but I know the halfway point for the week and each visit to the doctor. Celebrate accordingly.
If you find the halfway point to be a motivating concept, keep doing it. Sometimes I trick myself by looking a the halfway to the halfway point. If you find it to be demotivating, its ok. If you want to try to make it motivating look at it as a point to look back and appreciate how far you’ve come, how much you’ve done and be proud of it. Mid-task at any point, not just halfway, it is ok to stop and admire your work and accomplishments and celebrate a little.
Survivor Sherpa 